Sifter1337's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Mario Jeux]

I'm really stunned by how this game....

SUCKS SO MUCH ASS!

Time to review another shitty game for the third time. My complaints about Mario Forever Flash and New Mario Flash are present here. My God..

Once again, I stress that the jump button is UP. Let me ask you, right now, has there been an official Mario game by Nintendo where UP is JUMP?!?!

Well, no run button, which means Mario cannot move any faster or slower. But for this game, he moves like a fatass slug the entire time.

And check out the victory music, that doesn't sounds like a Mario sountrack either.

I'm gonna talk about the setting of the game. What the hell happened? Does the game take place in goddamned Egypt now? Not even the environment blends with the 16-bit graphics.

Also, when the game tells you how many 1-UPs you have left, it won't be there long enough. It flashes for a split-second and goes away. Wouldn't this be one of the opportune times to rest your minds from the shitty factor of this game?

That's all I probably have to say for this game, fuckballs.

I'm not saying this to be a jerk, but these problems DO exist, and have caused nothing but trouble for me. Final words: DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME.

[New Mario Flash]

Well, I've already reviewed Mario Forever Flash and suffered by the ASS it sucks. But now I've looked at this, I think it's worse.

Once again, my God, the controls are ruined. First off, who the hell uses UP to jump? That's still hard to get used to. Also, you can do the duck jump, but you can only do it with the keyboard, so if you're using a game controller, good luck. I dare you to press up and down at the same time with a game controller, because it's impossible.

Any other problem I mentioned in my Mario Forever Flash review is present, but the graphics bring a few more.

The graphics look bright and colorful, but I think the damned foreground graphics are gonna get in my way, and the background is gonna play with my eyes. It looks unappealing to mix 16-bit sprites with the flash-capable, bright colors and effects. Also, I find the life screen disturbing, where the game tells you your 1-UPs left. The picture of Mario makes me think that he'll take a shit all over the screen.

Also, you know those spinning nuclear waffles from SMB3? They made it in this game, but instead of that, they got replaced with green faces. I don't see the psychological meaning behind it.

Overall, it's the same crappy Mario Forever Flash game. I'm not saying this to be an asshole, but the details I've explained really are true.

[Mario Forever Flash]

I have played the downloadable Mario Forever game. But both the flash version and the other one suck, and disappoint me.

But I'll just talk about this one. My very major complaint is the fucked up controls. Who the hell uses Z to jump?! Usually it's the other way around, you know, the button before jump is run. Speaking of running, there is not absolute way to move any slower, or faster. Seriously, it takes time to get used to the crappy controls.

The jumping works okay, but the gravity is too fast. You go into the air too fast, and fall too fast. When I played the first official Mario game, that never did that to me.

Graphics are really nothing much to complain about. It's clear that it was ripped from the SNES version of Super Mario Bros. 1, but there are still things that get on my nerves.

Take the bricks for example. If you destroy them with your head, they don't shatter into pieces, oh no. Instead, it just gravitates towards the air and falls off the screen. What happened? Did the brick slip off the cement?

Also, there's some serious problem with the fire flower. Whenever you throw a fireball at an enemy half of Super Mario's height (when he has the mushroom), it often bounces off the ground and deliberately AVOID the enemy. That's some serious handicap.

The physics are almost as if this game should've been put in the context of SMB3 or Super Mario World. It's pretty slippery and you start running too fast. I would REALLY apprecciate it if running could be done with the Z button, but no, there is no way to move any slower.

And let's talk about the Bowser boss fight. Who would think to stomp on him? In the first Mario game, you have to either get the axe behind him, or pelt him with fireballs for fun. But stomping on him can go against any instincts of a Mario fan. And stomping on Bowser is no easy thing. If he ever jumps, or becomes invincible for a second, you are prohibited from attacking him. Otherwise, YOU get hurt or killed.

When I played the downloadable version, it really frustrated my younger childhood, and still pisses me off today. Why? Because the 7th world is impossible.

I'm trying my least to be a jerk, but I'm baffled how most people are missing out the real bad aspects of this game. I just can't lie. This game (probably) sucked back then, and sucks forever.

[NG 1337 Translator!]

Translate these!

0w(h13, 1t hur7s m0r3 7h4n 4 dyn4m173 s7u(k 1n my z1pper

1'v3 n3v3r s33n 4ny7h1ng s0 ugly

w1ll y0u g37 m3 0u7 0f 7h15? 0r 1'm g0nn4 fu(k y0ur gr4ndm4m4!

To find the easter egg sound, keep pressing tab and when the yellow box is in the icon of P-bot, click it.

[Can you reach the end...]

Not bad.

This was just a simple game, but it's hard because you slide to much and your screen goes blank if you hit a wall, make the tunnel more shorter, add some lives and checkpoints. For the people who don't know how to play the game, simply press arrow keys to move around. But you move automaticly down.

Nice game though.

blockingsnake responds:

Lives and checkpoints are both great ideas.

[Madness Shooter]

It's Nice

But the screen was too small, make it a bit bigger, I already beat the game, make it longer.

GLITCH:

When enemies haven't finished moving and you shoot him, he won't die.

The death animation was epic though, but there was no gore at all, this game will be better if you have limited health. Not just like instant game over when shot.

Also, it will be more better if you can pick up other guns.

Nice game though. 4/5

[impossible maze game]

It's fine

It's a fine game, but the last level is impossible, put a storyline or something. ;)

This would have a 3/5

[something madness like...]

A madness interactive mod

It's a Madness Interactive mod, but this doesn't load anyway, what about try changing the preloader to one of the newgrounds preloaders?

[Teh Zombie]

Not addictive

All I did was move my mouse to kill, make some better gameplay than this. It gets boring, any ideas you could get this better?

[Vinnie's Rampage - Act.1]

Awesome game

You assholes don't know how good this is. Today I'm voting 5.